BACK STORY
I wrote a novel called Chemical Pink. It has been described as a Pygmalion story set in the world of female bodybuilding. The book jacket says it’s a novel of obsession. It’s also about love and selfishness and weird sex. The book got a of lot media attention because I blew the lid off of steroid abuse in the world of female bodybuilding. Deep voices, facial hair, elongated clitorises are but a few of the irreversible secondary male characteristics that women suffer when abusing physique-enhancing drugs. It’s dark, ugly and very real. It’s also kind of funny if you have a twisted sense of humor like I do.
Art Linson, David Fincher and Newline optioned Chemical Pink in 2001. I was offered the opportunity to adapt my novel and, even though I’d never written a screenplay, I assured everyone that of course I could handle the job. In fact, no one else on this planet could possibly adapt Chemical Pink given the rarefied subculture. No problem.
I’m not going to discuss the differences between the two forms. I can’t do that because I still don’t fully understand the novel or the screenplay. (If you want analytical advice I suggest you consult my 2 Fork Hwy partner Kris Saknussemm. He’s the smart one.) But what I can talk about is my process and how fricking hard it was.
Anyone who knows anything will tell you that the first thing you have to do when adapting a novel is take the story down to the bare bones and then slowly rebuild it. That means cutting, cutting, cutting. Seemed easy enough. But when I sat down and tried to figure out what was essential to the story and what could go, well nothing could go. Every time I considered eliminating a character the story became unbalanced and meaningless. Leaving someone out was like killing off one of my children. I couldn’t even think about it. So my first draft of the screenplay kept a little bit of everything and was 187 pages long.
Art Linson is a great producer. He’s also a writer. He really knows what he’s doing and if you ever get a chance to work with him, well you’re a lucky person. You will learn a lot and your life with be changed forever - probably for the better. I mean it.
Here’s how it went when I turned in my first draft:
Art threw the pages down on the table and yelled, “Do you think this is fucking funny? Do you? Cause if you think this is fucking funny we’re in a whole lot of fucking trouble. This is fucking shit. Have you ever actually watched a movie?”
I don’t know why Art didn’t fire me. He certainly should have because my script really did suck. But he rolled up his sleeves, sat down at his big producer desk and tried to teach me how to write a screenplay. It was a long process and almost everyday he told me how fucking unfunny my shit was. But we both hung in there and eventually came up with a workable draft.
There is a character in my novel called Skip. He’s a Vietnam vet who lives in his car outside the YMCA. He’s missing his front teeth, is obsessive and frankly unbalanced. But he truly loves my main character Aurora and he acts as a protector to her daughter Amy when no one else seems to care. In my mind Skip is a hero and an essential part of Chemical Pink. Skip was the first thing to go once I got out the pruning shears. His entire story line was thrown in the trash. I realize now that he was not absolutely necessary to the essential story, but I loved him and it was very painful to let him go. He left a hole that was hard to fill.
There were other cuts, too painful to relive here. I changed personalities and brought in brand new characters. It took close to a year for me to produce a working draft. The screenplay is different than the book but I think it stayed very true to the spirit of the novel.
Art Linson and David Fincher had a parting of ways and did not make Chemical Pink. The original director, Jonas Akerlund stayed loyal to the project and has sworn to make this movie someday. Jonas is my hero. And now Ted Field has bought the project from Newline. It looks like this might actually happen and so I’ve decided document the process.
Tuesday Sept. 25
I couldn’t figure out what to wear. This project is so important to me–I want Chemical Pink to be a movie so badly–that it somehow seemed really important to get the outfit right. Of course I know that’s nonsense but that’s how I felt. Jonas always wears black, lots of leather. He’s Swedish and very fair but dyes his long hair jet-black and wears it in two braids. There’s usually a black hat to finish off the ensemble. I’ve decided that I’m going to dress like Jonas for the duration of this project in an act of solidarity so I wore tight black pants, biker boots (real ones), black tank top and black horn earrings that look very tough. I felt ready for anything
Ted Field, Paris Latsis, Terry Douglas and Jonas were scheduled to arrive at my place in Venice at 11:30 so they could see the gym and get a feeling for the Venice area where we plan to shoot the movie. Jonas assured me that he’d arrive early and I was glad because I hate making small talk. But 11:30 came; the door rang and in walked Ted, Paris and Terry–no Jonas.
I’d met Ted a couple of months ago at his office. At that first meeting, he said that he thought CP could be the next Crying Game. He likes the gender confusion and thinks Chemical Pink will really surprise people. I like the idea of confusion and surprise and I like Ted so I was happy to see him. I’d not met Paris and Terry before and would guess that they’re both in their early twenties “I could be wrong about that but they look about 23. They both seem very nice, very passionate and energetic. And so young” I kind of had to watch myself and make sure the maternal thing didn’t slip out. We sat around and made small talk until Jonas showed up. It was fine. Everyone was very enthusiastic. It’s a nice feeling to sit there and have people tell you how great your story is and what a fantastic movie it will make. I don’t really get tired of that part.
Jonas arrived and we walked a half block up the street to Gold’s Gym. Unfortunately the Olympia is this weekend so most of the big bodybuilders were already in Vegas but the guys got a sense of the place. It is an enormous gym with room after room of equipment, exercise machines that vaguely resemble torture devices and allude to the very fine line between pleasure and pain. There are mirrors on every wall, plenty of opportunities to admire oneself. The guys seemed impressed. As we were about to leave I noticed a tight, cute, fitness girl standing by the front door in a tiny pair of shorts and a sports bra. She was tanned and very sexy and she stood next to an extremely muscular bodybuilding woman with long frizzy blond hair. Seeing the two of them standing there together was like a before and after shot “a visual warning about the hazards of steroid abuse. I pointed to the girls and said, “That right there is exactly what I’m talking about.” I think actually SEEING the extreme physicality of the two women, one sexy and one freakish, really clarified my vision for Ted and the boys.
We walked down the street to Joe’s restaurant and spent the lunch talking about the importance of this film and how it was going to mine the fertile territory of gender identification. We also threw around ideas of who could play Charles Worthington. I’m not very good at that because I’m not familiar with a lot of the actors today so I just sat there quietly during that part. All in all it was a good meeting and I really believe that Chemical Pink is finally going to happen.
Next step: The first choice for Aurora is Jessica Biel. She has the script and we’re just waiting to hear if she’s interested. It could be a week or a month. I’ll keep you posted.
Wednesday Sept. 26
I got an email from Jonas this morning saying how excited he is and how well he thought the meeting went. It’s funny because I was about to write and tell him the exact same thing. It really does feel like we’re finally on the right track. Jonas also said that he liked my outfit.
Monday Oct. 8
Still no word from Jessica Biel. I have a novel called The Wentworths that’s being published in March and another in the works. Writing takes up most of my time, so really I didn’t even notice that Jessica Biel hasn’t responded to Chemical Pink. Nope, didn’t notice at all. And when I’m not working on my next novel I spend my time surfing” although now that surfing has become the “new golf” I find the water filled with yoga enthusiasts who talk too loud and take up way too much space and it makes me grumpy—or swimming or hiking. I like to do solo backpacking trips at high altitude in the Sierras and Southeast Utah so I stay in shape by throwing on a forty-pound pack and marching up and down the Santa Monica mountains for three or four hours a day. There are cougars up in those hills and all my backpacks have quick-release knives mounted on the straps. So you see, I just don’t have time to worry about Jessica Biel.
A few years ago, Patricia Arquette was interested in playing the lead character, Aurora. It was a big deal because she’s such a great actor. Jonas and I were very excited. She’d done a movie called Human Nature in which she was naked for a good part of the picture. I rented it, not to assess her dramatic abilities but to study her genetics. Was she symmetrical enough? Were her shoulders wider than her hips? How about her mid-section? I rewound and froze-framed her physique, over and over, and decided that she definitely had the right body type for the part. Never mind that she’d just had a baby and was still nursing. She was perfect.
Jonas and I had lunch with Patricia and her manager at the Ivy at the Shore. I came armed with photos of myself in my underwear when I was very fat and pregnant with my first child. I also brought the photos of my bodybuilding contests that were taken after I gave birth - a very dramatic before and after. I showed her what I’d done to my body and assured her that she could do it too. She could get rid of that baby fat in no time and, in fact, look better than she did before children.
Patricia had a great attitude. She dove into preparing for the role with unbelievable energy and she handled her training and diet program like a true bodybuilder. She immediately cut out all the junk food, upped her protein, and ate six tiny meals a day. She started training at Gold’s Gym with the best bodybuilding trainer in the world, Charles Glass. She did cardio twice a day to shed the extra baby weight. She was a champ and I think eventually she would have made a good Aurora. But whatever producer was involved at the time - and I swear I don’t remember who it was, or even if there was one - didn’t come up with the funds so everything fell apart after about a month. That was a disappointment for everyone, a real blow. Patricia went on to other projects and Jonas accepted a job with Madonna to make a documentary of her world tour. I headed off on an extended backpacking trip near Kings Canyon–just me and my knives, the coyotes, and a whole bunch of California black bears.
Friday Oct. 12
Still nothing from Jessica Biel. But there’s another actress who’s interested called Rosario Dawson. I looked her up. She’s spectacularly beautiful. Sure, she’d be great. Looks kind of skinny but hey, we can work with that.
Thursday Nov. 1
Everyone has heard the horror stories about agents in Hollywood. The typical agent is portrayed as legless and slithering, cold blooded and completely lacking in moral fortitude. It’s a clich to talk about these talent brokers as scum-sucking sleaze-bags, but hey, if the shoe fitsx However there is at least one agent in Hollywood who does not fit the mold and lucky for me, he’s mine.
David Unger was one of the first people to read the Chemical Pink screenplay when I finally finished writing it. He called me immediately and was so complimentary that I instantly fell in love with him. He said he would personally do everything in his power to get the movie made. For a while it looked like David had an easy job with Art Linson and David Fincher involved - of course the movie would get made. But then everything fell apart and people walked away, everyone lost interest, everyone except David Unger (and Jonas, of course).
David has spent the last six years quietly sending out Chemical Pink to various producers, trying to find someone with money who would make this movie. Jonas and I have been up to bat with several different companies only to have the project fall through. I can’t tell you how many times we thought we’d found a home and then the producer would change his/her mind and decide that the subject matter was too controversial. It was incredibly discouraging but David never gave up. He was our cheerleader, constantly reassuring and insisting we have faith. He is loyal and he is a true friend. Without David Unger there would be no movie.
So, I called David this morning to find out what’s happening. Jonas has been in Sweden for a few weeks working on a commercial project and I haven’t heard a word from Ted and the boys. David took the call right away - he always does - and in his usually cheery voice told me that everything is going great. Rosario Dawson is very excited about the project and dying to work with Jonas. It came out, in course of conversation that Rosario hasn’t actually read the script yet but I’m sure she will. I’m sure everything will be fine. Jonas is due back next week and David has set up a meeting for the two of them. I’ve got my fingers crossed.
Nov. 12
Jonas looked great. I hadn’t seen him in over a month. His braids are longer and he was well rested after his trip to Sweden. What I love most about this guy is his perpetually positive attitude. He has ALWAYS believed that this movie will get made. I try and rub up against him as often as possible.
Ted Field asked Jonas to make a “book” about Chemical Pink. I envision it as a sort of photo album that will illustrate the tone and character of the film. I guess it’s easier to make people understand what the movie is about when there are visual aids. Jonas said he makes these books for all his projects and the Chemical Pink one is almost done but he’s having trouble coming up with good photos of current day Venice. So we set out for the boardwalk to see if we could find material.
It was a warm day and there were tons of people around, checking out the freak show. The sidewalk vendors offered an eclectic array of products but the predominant theme was definitely tribal. Bones, horns, feathers, handmade knives and spears. There were a whole lot of shirtless guys walking their pitbulls. Turns out you can make just about anything out of hemp: collars, healing salves, shower curtains, socks, varnish, crayons, backpacks and wallets. There were drummers and solo musicians playing for tips. It’s a thriving place, more so now than ever before, and so it’s puzzling to me why no one seems interested in documenting the vital culture of this place TODAY.
We walked to Small World Books, which has been a fixture in the area for well over twenty years, and asked for photo books of Venice. I assumed they would occupy a couple of rows, probably towards the front of the store. No. There were maybe four books on Venice, and the most current pictures were taken in the late seventies, early eighties. Vintage Venice. There was absolutely nothing that could help us with Chemical Pink. I went back up to the front desk and inquired about body building books “Venice being the Mecca of body building” and was shocked to find they didn’t carry a single volume. Apparently people have lost interest in the subculture that fuels Chemical Pink. Well, that’s great news. It just means the time is ripe for a magnificent comeback.
We had lunch and Jonas gently informed me that Rosario Dawson is no longer interested in playing Aurora. He didn’t know why she dropped out but I suspect she read the script. No matter, there are other actresses out there. Someone will want to be Aurora.
Nov. 13
Jonas emailed this morning with good news. He found a bunch of material on Venice and the Chemical Pink book should be done soon. He also brought up the idea of us doing a Chemical Pink coffee table book when the movie is finished, his photos, my commentary. I think it is an excellent idea.
January 13, 2008
Just before Christmas I was told that a casting company was going to start auditions right after the first of the year. They were still looking for the lead girl but in the meantime they decided to get the rest of the cast in order. Of course this was exciting news for me. I went off on my vacation expecting to come home to a whirlwind of Chemical Pink activity. But I returned to find that Jonas is in Chicago re-shooting scenes for his movie Horsemen. David doesn’t have any news. I haven’t heard a word from Ted Field. To be honest it was getting a little hard to maintain my usual cheerleader stance. Maybe the subject matter just isn’t all that compelling. Maybe I should just give up. No one’s going to want to see a story about freakish bodybuilders anyway. But then Saknussemm came to town. I felt better the minute he got off the plane. This guy is a tornado of positive energy. Bad day? Contact my partner. He can fix anything. It was a beautiful afternoon so we headed down to the Venice boardwalk and who should we run into but my old friend Bill Pettis. In the seventies and early eighties Bill sported 231/4 inch biceps–they were thought to be the largest guns in the world. In those days he trained at world gym and you could see him wandering the streets of Venice in sweat shirt and pants, feeding on protein, patiently waiting for his body to recover from the morning workout so he could hit the gym again in the afternoon. I lost track of Bill when World gym closed a couple of years ago. It was a devastating blow to him. But bodybuilding is his life and that gym was his home but he rallied. He moved to the Weight Pit which is an outdoor gym right on the Venice boardwalk where spectators can watch bodybuiders pound out reps. At first I didn’t recognize my old friend. He has replaced his baggy sweats with a custom designed Tarzan-like loin-cloth fashioned out of leopard print velour. He’s leaner now but still in amazing shape, especially for a man of 61. But what struck me about Bill, what really delighted me, was his intense animal magnetism. He’s very dark from training in the sun, his muscles are still hard, and somehow his incisors have come forward in his mouth in a fang-like manner. Saknussemm was fascinated and I realized that hell yes people are going to be interested in a movie about the world where Bill Pettis lives. There’s nothing better. So, even though nothing has happened lately, I still have faith that Chemical Pink is moving forward and tomorrow I’m going to get on the phone and make something happen.
Sunday January 27
No news. I made all the phone calls I could think of and wrote emails. I took Saknussemm to drinks at the Polo Lounge with my wonderful agent David Unger but he didn’t have anything to report. Nothing is happening. The writer’s strike has really brought everything to a stop. As the publication date for my new novel approaches, I had hoped to be consumed with Chemical Pink business–casting, rewrites, tricky wardrobe decisions–so that I wouldn’t even notices reviews (or lack there of) and sales figures for The Wentworths. No such luck. Well, I hope to have something to report soon. Jonas is back in town this week. Maybe he can re-ignite this fire.
Saturday March 15
Well apparently none of the actresses in Hollywood want to take on the job of becoming Aurora. I guess I can’t blame them as it would be a HUGE and very difficult job. I don’t have a list of the women approached but I get the feeling it was extensive–it sure took a long time. So now we’re onto plan B.
Plan B involves a reality show entitled something like, “In Search of Aurora”. It would be modeled after American Idol with Jonas, Ted Field and me as the judges. We would go around the country auditioning bodybuilders for our leading lady. I envision endless discussions about muscle insertions and glutteal mass. It’s in the works. Jonas comes back from Sweden next week and we’re meeting to discuss. I’ll report back but I’m feeling very excited about this new idea.
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